16 Jul

1, Always bring toilet roll if you’re camping…

2, Factor 60 suncream can be a surprisingly effective alternative to chamois cream.

3, When stealing tour direction signs to decorate your car try to take one where they’ve put two or more. Would you want it on your conscience if all the riders had to stop to ask they way the following afternoon?

4, An important corollary to The law of Sod states that it you spend two hours the night before your trip weighing your luggage so the Ryanair Nazis don’t try to force a remortgage, the woman at check-in will be sweetness personified as she explains there’s a 32kg maximum for the bike box rather than the 20kg stated in the fine print. (Warning: she may have been an apprentice, or an Aer Lingus mole…)

5, Some French campsites lock the cars in at 10pm.

6, All carefully selected and well tested photo op vantage points will be obscured by some sweaty behemoth less than five seconds before the arrival of the riders.

7, Tinned food is much more practical than fresh produce. Suck it up, it’s only ten days.

More to follow…


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